Another user has logged in or out

Joke Thread!!

Go down

Joke Thread!!

Post  whiteowl on Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:46 pm


The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Although I voted to let the chicken cross t he road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

To die in the rain. Alone.

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the e road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never car...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

I invented the chicken!

Did I miss one?

Where's my gun?

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Posts : 34
Join date : 2010-06-03
Age : 76
Location : Rotting in the Apple

Back to top Go down

Re: Joke Thread!!

Post  MarT[i]aN on Sun Jun 06, 2010 7:21 am

lol. ok off the top fo my head.

There is a plane, and on this said plane are 3 boy scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and the pilot.
The pilot says, "Shit our engine blew and we are going down! i olny have 3 parachutes.. lets give it to the boy scouts!"
Lawyer says, "FUCK THE BOY SCOOUTS!' and the Priest, "Do we have time!?!?" xD

One afternoon Little Johnny hears some noises from his parents room.
He opens up the door to his dad having his mom bent over tearing her up.
So giving Johnny time to recooperate, his dad goes to find him and talk to him.
When his dad opens up Johnny's room to find johnny has grandma bent over tearing her ass up!
The dad ask Johnny " WTF are you doing?!?!?"
Johnny Replys " Ain't so cool when it's your mom now is it?!"

thats all i got Very Happy carry on.
Major General (MG)
Major General (MG)

Posts : 216
Join date : 2010-05-16
Age : 23
Location : Oklahoma

Back to top Go down

Re: Joke Thread!!

Post  disaster on Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:24 am

One day a college professor was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron,
and if they were, they should stand.

After a minute a young man stood up.
The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.
The kid replied,
'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'.


For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the
baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.
The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said,
"Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed,
"I think Mommy ate it!"


A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says.
"You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man.

"How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."


Three friends die in a car accident, and upon their arrival to heaven, they are all asked,
"When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning upon you,
what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first man says,
"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second man says,
"I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge
difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last man replies,
"I would like to hear them say, 'LOOK! HE'S MOVING!'"
General of TrueGamers (GOT)
General of TrueGamers (GOT)

Posts : 41
Join date : 2010-06-03
Age : 29
Location : UK ENGLAND

Back to top Go down

Re: Joke Thread!!

Post  Sponsored content

Sponsored content

Back to top Go down

Back to top

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum